Living GRACE-fully

The Calming of the Storm at sea. “On that day, as evening drew on, he said to them, ‘Let us cross to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat Just as he was. And other boats were with him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, ‘Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?’(Mark 4:35-40)

When I was given Mark 4:35-40 to pray with by my spiritual director, I thought I knew where she was guiding me. Obviously, she wanted to see what storms I was dealing with and where I needed to trust Jesus more. I had it all figured out. Where my prayer ended up was nothing like what I had expected. I spent a few hours walking, praying, and listening with this passage.

During this beautiful prayer time, the Holy Spirit led me on what felt like was a wild goose chase…

If anyone has ever read the children’s book “If You Give a Pig a Pancake”, that is sort of what my thought process felt like!

Initially, I was drawn to the phrase ‘just as he was’. I placed myself in the scene and imagined my friends saying we were going in the boat to the other side.

Jesus gets in the boat, just as he was. He did not need anything else.

I imagined all the things I would need to grab – cell phone, towel, sun glasses, sun screen, snacks, wine…so much clutter that I really do not need (well except for maybe the wine!). I imagined myself as a tacky tourist climbing into the boat with Jesus.

Then I went a little deeper – I would also bring my expectations, fears, worries, agenda, past, future, successes, failures, insecurities, sins…

All of these things are unnecessary and even unwanted in my journey to follow Jesus. He wants me just as I am, without all the clutter and other ‘baggage’.

He sees me and knows me for who I truly am. He loves me exactly as I am today, yesterday, and tomorrow.

At this point, I thought I understood where the Holy Spirit was leading me, but he wasn’t quite finished with me yet.

My prayer now moved to the storm and how I would have reacted. Would I have flipped out like the disciples and asked Jesus what he was thinking just sleeping through it? Would I have rested and trusted that all would be ok? During the storm, Jesus was still in the boat, just as he was, peaceful and unchanging.

I imagine that I would have analyzed what I should have done differently, like I should have brought life jackets or waited for the storm to pass before we left the shore. I was back to focusing on what I should have brought or done to prepare, rather than just being in that moment, accepting my circumstances, and moving forward with Jesus by my side.

This led me to think about some things in my life that I worry about and question how I could have or should have done things differently, like when I worry about my children and my focus is on me and what I should have done differently or mistakes that I have made. It is pointless to focus on the past and how things were done. Jesus is always in my boat with me despite all of that.

He loves me just as I am, regardless of my mistakes or faults. He is all I need.

I just need to tell him my concerns about my children, or whatever it is I am worrying about, and trust that he will be in the storm with me, unchanging.

Storms are going to come and we can never really prepare for them because we do not know what the future holds. During those storms, Jesus is always with us. He is not focusing on the things we should have done differently or the ‘what ifs’.

We must give God our past and let it go. Have peace and trust in his loving care and concern for us. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, regardless of what we do.

My thoughts then moved to prayer in general and I realized that in this scripture passage, we are given a wonderful example of how to pray by the disciples.

What would have happened if they had not woken Jesus up? Would he have slept through the storm? What then?

The disciples had enough faith to know that he would and could do something about the storm. They just didn’t know what he would do. It was important for them to wake him, however. That is prayer, calling on God, with faith and trust. Of course, Jesus knew what was going on, but I believe he was waiting for the disciples to ask for his help, in faith.

It is our job to get in the boat with Jesus and tell him what we need.

Notice that the disciples did not tell Jesus what to do about the storm. They did not suggest he move the storm, or move the boat.

They only told Jesus they were afraid and trusted that he would do something.

I think that, oftentimes, we go to prayer with a list of how we want God to answer our prayers. He always knows the very best way and it is usually not at all what we expect. I suspect that the disciples had no idea that Jesus would be capable of just telling the storm to stop and that it would obey him.

Ultimately, my takeaway from this precious prayer time was threefold:

1. God loves us just as we are, all the time. He loves us today, yesterday, and tomorrow. We do not need to change who we are in any way for him to love us.

2. It does not matter how we have handled all the things in our lives leading up to whatever storm we are in, or even if we are the cause of the storm. Jesus does not look at any of this. He cares about the here and now and is always with us, especially in the storms.

3. Prayer does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as saying “Jesus, I am in trouble. Please help me.” We do not have to tell him how to answer our prayers. We just have to trust that he will. His plan is always the best plan.